The Most Amusing Things People Have Said Under Anesthesia - themoneytime

The Most Amusing Things People Have Said Under Anesthesia

Being put into an unconscious state for a medical operation isn’t something you should take lightly. However, when you’re under the influence of sedatives, it can be impossible to take anything seriously. When you’re eventually told what you did in an anesthesia-induced state of weirdness, there’s nothing to do but laugh at your own expense.

Brain and body nerve signals are disrupted by general anesthesia. As a result, when you have surgery, your brain cannot comprehend pain or remember what happened during the procedure. Here are some of the craziest things people have said as they gradually regained consciousness.

A Big Mistake

There are many things that nurses have to deal with, and this situation is surprisingly common. Patients frequently express their everlasting love for their nurses or praise them for how lovely they are while they are under anesthesia. The poor nurses just have to smile and tolerate it.

The irony that the patient’s spouse was sitting right next to him when he told the nurse that she was the prettiest girl on the planet further added to the awkwardness of the situation. This guy needs to avoid arguing with his wife at all costs!

What a Charmer

When we’re under anesthesia, we’re freed from the constraints of everyday life. Because of this, we can reveal our true selves – the personality traits we’ve been holding back for so long. Unfortunately, this isn’t always a good thing.

The patient in this scenario made it clear to his nurse that he thought she was gorgeous. Though it was embarrassing for her, she seemed to like it. Still, if your coworkers are ruthless, that’s one anecdote that will stick to you, and not in a good way!

Prepare for Take-Off

Everyone has a great time when a family member wakes up from anesthesia. When someone says something amusing, whether it’s a youngster, a sibling, or anyone else, it’s important that we’re prepared to record it.

No doubt, this cute statement is still a popular topic of conversation in this family. The kids finally have an embarrassing story to tell about their mom instead of it always being the other way around. We hope mom has a good sense of humor about it!

Time Travel

When we go under anesthetic and wake up several hours later, it feels like we’ve instantly traveled in time. Of course, a lot was happening during this time. It’s just that the anesthetic makes it feel like we’ve simply shut our eyes and then opened them again in a completely different space and time. 

General anesthesia can make you feel like you’ve leaped forward a few hours. This patient experienced it firsthand. Scientists have been working on time travel for decades, but all it took for this lady was a simple surgery to remove her wisdom teeth.

A Joker

Short-term memory loss is one of the most well-known effects of anesthesia. Family members or friends may inform you that you were talking about something completely out of the ordinary the night before without you even realizing it. There was no such issue with this patient.

Tragically, we have no idea what the joke in question was. If the joke was so good that it stayed in the patient’s memory during the entire operation, surely this doctor has an obligation to tell us. We hope it was worth the wait!

Dogs Can Talk

Humans have a tendency to project their own thinking and behavior onto their pets, which is undeniably cute. However, it could also be indicative of deep-seated issues that we share as a species. Who knows? 

We’ve seen films of certain dogs talking, and their voices truly sound like they’re conversing. Huskies are also known for having a unique way of vocalizing. So, all things considered, we completely believe this account. It’s nice to think that there’s a Husky out there with exceptionally good manners. 

Alien Invasion

At one point, it appeared that society’s preoccupation with extraterrestrials had faded into obscurity. But that was only for a moment. The fascination for little green men, which was once the source of widespread panic in the 1950s and 1960s, faded away briefly.

We definitely have a fascination with outer space, and it’s exciting to think that we may one day connect with beings from other planets. However, some people take their belief in aliens a little too far. This guy convinced himself that he was being abducted and nearly tore his IV out. Ouch! 

Backup Plan

The German field commander Moltke the Elder, who lived in the nineteenth century, is credited with saying: “No plan survives initial contact with the enemy.” This indicates that no matter how much you plan, life will rarely conform to your ideas.

This woman, like many others, was aware of this concept, So she prepared for the worst by having a second procedure ready in case the first failed. Though it doesn’t appear to be a good concept, we must give her credit for it.

Nope, Never Seen Her Before

We’re going to assume that the anesthesiologist wasn’t the one who messaged the girl on Tinder and that it was all a misunderstanding caused by the medications. There’s a chance it was someone who looked like him.

He was undoubtedly looked at a little suspiciously in the operation room, even if he wasn’t guilty of any crime. A word of advice: Try not to frighten your anesthesiologist! The girl did, at least, offer him a compliment before drifting off to sleep.

It’s Not What She Expected!

Let’s assume that this is an honest answer to the question and proceed accordingly. Even if the guy adores Yoda, that doesn’t explain what he said to his wife. At least he didn’t tell her that the nurse was the most beautiful woman in the world!

But what does he mean by “little Yoda shoes”? At least what he said does sound kind of endearing. We hope his wife took it well and didn’t bring it up in every argument they had thereafter. 

Different Accents

We find this story fascinating. The individual presenting the story is unmistakably an English speaker, as seen by the distinctive accent. Because of this disparity, why would they suddenly start speaking in Welsh? In all likelihood, the narrator has at least heard the language before. 

How can something like this happen? We have follow-up questions! Was it only a Welsh accent, or did this person speak entirely in the Welsh language? The ending suggests the latter, as the subject also speaks Welsh when dozing off. How strange. 

I Didn’t Ask for This

A hospital bed is never a pleasant place to wake up. Tubes and tape are all over your body, and you have to wear a little robe that barely covers your body. We can’t judge this guy for launching into an anesthetic-fueled rage when he understood what was happening.

He has no recollection of it, but it made him angry. He yelled, he screamed, and he pleaded with them. According to the report, everyone in the room had a good chuckle at the sudden switch from yelling to speaking in a more regular voice.

Get on the Rocketship

There are numerous humorous euphemisms for getting high on gas in the dentist’s chair, and “going to space” is just one. The metaphor was taken a little too literally by this patient who awoke believing he genuinely was the captain of a spaceship.

Also in attendance was his mother-in-law, and we’re left wondering just how quickly she came up with a response to his query. There is a good chance that she saluted and presented herself as his new XO. “We need to move swiftly, Captain. Something unusual is going on in Farpoint!”

The One That Got Away

Many people secretly think about “the one that got away” – someone they would do anything to bring back into their lives. This may not be the story with this patient, but people often let everything hang out when they’re given ketamine by a nurse.

When the hospital worker left to get ice chips, this patient began to weep uncontrollably. There are times when you just need to let your emotions out in order to feel better. We hope this patient got out all her tears and felt better when the nurse returned with her ice chips. 

He Has a Point

Anesthesia can act as a kind of truth serum. It’s important to remember that you may be more likely to speak your mind than at any other time. In this story, the individual shared something of a truth bomb, but it’s not as if this is ground-breaking knowledge that will change your life.

As stressful as surgeries are for everyone involved, it’s nice to know that medication can deliver a few moments of hilarity. There has to be some consolation prize for spending time in hospital! In certain cases, the laughter lasts a lifetime.

A Little Help Here?

What a way to go above and beyond for your patients! You lose a lot of motor control when you’re unconscious. Somehow, this guy not only realized that he needed a little help with his rear end but also realized that he was on far too many drugs to attempt the maneuver.

He knew he needed the doctor’s aid, so he casually brought it up. Of course, doctors aren’t required by law to scratch patients’ behinds, but it would be cruel to say no after the patient so nicely inquired about it.

Confusing the Nurses

We can only assume that everyone was bewildered by this event. Staff members were baffled as to why the man kept referring to his daughter. As it turns out, he thought his daughter was in the room with him the entire time.

The nurses who entered the waiting area laughed when they saw the man’s daughter. The good news is, now that the dust has settled, it makes a great tale to share over the holidays. It doesn’t matter if the man in question was mortified to learn of his mistake – he made it innocently while under the influence of anesthesia.

Not Too Little

Most people don’t enjoy being scolded or lectured. This is particularly true when you’re a teen or a young adult. You’re trying to establish your worth in the adult world, and one way to do that is to avoid being perceived as immature.

Understandably, this young man was miffed when the surgeon brought up his stature. He’s close to six feet tall, so he’s not exactly a small guy. However, the doctor was probably alluding to the patient’s age – twenty-one years old is considered youthful by most people in the medical community.

Too Much to Handle

One of the most common surgical procedures is the removal of wisdom teeth. It is performed on countless individuals all over the world each year. That’s a good thing since we get so many great stories like this one. The lady in the opposite car most likely felt like she was in a zombie film.

Her reluctance to spend too much time with the individual who was drooling blood by the gallon and grinning gruesomely at the same time is understandable. We wonder if she made that last-minute right turn just to get away from the bloody mess in the car next to her or if she genuinely realized that she needed to go that way.

Billy Jeans

It’s important to remember that even basic wisdom teeth procedures can become deadly if something goes awry, so it’s beneficial to have nurses on hand and some music to calm everyone’s nerves. We’re not so sure about the musical selections made by this dentist, though! 

While the King of Pop obviously wasn’t in the room, he was still lending a hand with a few classic songs. To help those in need, he provided a soundtrack for the experts while they completed their dental duties.

Buffet Amnesia

The nicest part of this story is how normal the guy seemed until he arrived at the buffet. He was able to walk and talk normally, yet he has no recollection of what happened! That’s a sign of a well-trained intellect – nobody could tell that he was completely lost.

How many of us go about our daily routines in a similar state – appearing alert but without any recollection of what we’ve just done? Unless we’ve all been hit with an anesthetic bomb, it’s likely that these forgotten moments are simply due to stress and wandering thoughts. 

Time to Say Goodbye

Though the surgeon’s words were evident to anyone who wasn’t under the influence of sleeping medications – and was at least nine years old – this child was terrified. And what do you do as a kid who has just experienced such a harrowing experience? First, seek assistance from your mother.

This time, the kid’s mother enthusiastically waved goodbye, which we have to assume did not help the child’s mental state. Nevertheless, it was a relief when the patient finally fell asleep, and from what we’ve learned, he had no recollection of the interaction until they informed him later.

Obsessed Girlfriend 

This is a recurring theme in this article: When under anesthesia, your brain goes back to the most primitive thoughts. Yet, these are the things that make up your very essence, which suggests that this person spends a lot of time thinking about her boyfriend’s rear.

This poor girl was unable to think clearly, resulting in her oversharing with the three male doctors. What was the point of this? Was she bragging or did she just want them to know she was in a happy relationship? 

First Glance

When a lady prepares to give birth through C-section, she obviously needs anesthesia. Of course, we’ll never know if this woman was speaking figuratively or literally, but her statement raises a few eyebrows either way.

She may not have understood what she said because she was about to fall asleep. Nobody knows whether this was an innocent, mixed-up request produced by the strange effects of the ketamine, or whether she inadvertently revealed a dark family secret. We wonder whether her marriage survived. 

Phantom of the Opera

Based on a 1910 novel by Gaston Leroux, The Phantom of the Opera is one of the most popular musicals of all time. Even if you know nothing about the plot or the music, you should be able to recognize the key motifs.

The patient in this scenario must have been a big fan of the musical since he was able to remember the tunes when the gas began to take effect. Unfortunately, the patient had to resort to rapping incomprehensible lines as his mind slipped into slumber.

Am I in Hell?

Here we have a double dose of fantastic tales. We’re sure most nurses and doctors have an endless list of funny stories from patients coming out of anesthesia. Being asked if you’re the devil has got to be up there as one of the more bizarre!  

We’re not sure how counting backwards from 100 would indicate that someone is not the devil. In fact, we’re rather certain that Satan’s mathematical prowess is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible. We wonder how the patient came up with this idea! 

Can I Keep It?

It’s not unusual for a dentist to return a patient’s teeth to them, but there must have been a reason why this couldn’t happen in this case. How about that partner who seemed able to effortlessly interpret everything, despite there being no discernible syllables? We’re impressed!

This story is funny in its own way, but the star of the show was the partner – they have a true talent for translation. People who have had surgery should always be listened to if they’re trying to say something when they wake up.

A Case of Mistaken Identity

The indomitable lead singer and songwriter from the band Queen, Freddie Mercury, is well-known and adored. His name is known even in Northern Ireland. Unfortunately, Mercury passed away in 1991, which is a shame. 

Contrary to what this woman seemed to believe, he has not been in hiding and working as an anesthetist for the last thirty years. The funniest part of this story is that the guy didn’t even look like Freddie Mercury. Still, the patient enjoyed herself and stopped being anxious, which is a good thing!  

Sign Language

There are a few instances of people coming out of anesthesia and speaking in languages they haven’t ever spoken before. However, it’s more common for people to speak languages they knew when they were young or studied for a brief time at college.

While it wasn’t necessary, this person decided to use his hands to communicate with nurses. He was aware that he could speak, and he certainly didn’t have enough instruction in ASL to be able to communicate effectively. However, it seems he was determined to use sign language anyway!

He’s Probably Going to Regret That

We doubt the mother of this child was moved by this comment, given the boisterous laughter that accompanied it. Many recordings of youngsters saying funny things while they’re falling asleep or waking up from anesthesia are available online, and it’s important to never take their words literally.

Of course, you should never say anything unkind to your mother. However, you do get a free pass when you’re coming out of anesthesia – what you say isn’t really your fault, so she has to forgive you! 

The Ultimate Betrayal

If you’re wondering what the betrayal is in this story, it all centers around the word “oxygen.” This patient believed the doctor when he said the mask was only going to deliver oxygen. However, in reality, it delivered a strong dose of gas to put the patient to sleep. 

There’s a good chance this is the first time they have gone under because most people know that the gas mask they give you doesn’t contain only oxygen. Either way, the doctor wasn’t phased – he’s heard it all before! 

My (Dead) People

Some things in life just have to be done, no matter how difficult the circumstances. In this case, no matter what the doctor said, this future undertaker’s destiny was already set.

Whatever the procedure’s outcome, they were still planning on flying out the next day to take the embalming practical. As it is, there’s no way of knowing what the dentist’s response would have been. As far as we can tell, the only possible risks are extremely rare side effects.

I Knew It! 

Any time you undergo surgery, there’s a good chance that you will be exposed in front of a doctor or nurse. It may happen during your surgery, depending on the operation you’re having. And it’s highly likely to occur after your surgery when you need sponge baths and help going to the bathroom.

Of course, this is all part of the job for medical professionals. However, it got a bit weird for one nurse when she had to assist with the surgery of an old coworker. The patient was concerned about her seeing him naked, and it was the last thing he mentioned before passing out.

Holiday Cheer

We all have those tunes we throw on when we’re feeling down. It’s easy to see why this patient was so enamored with The 12 Days of Christmas. It is sung at the time of year when Christmas decorations are everywhere and life feels more happy and festive. 

Music has the potential to lift our spirits. This patient sang so often because she wanted to feel better after her surgery. Even the nurses got in on the fun, singing along with the song and laughing at the silliness of it.

Trust the Doctor

Lawyers and doctors may both require similar levels of education, but they are vastly different professions. During this story, the man who went into a coma stated that his wife knew everything the doctors were telling him. However, she wouldn’t have had a clue what they were doing, unless they performed a procedure related to tort reform.

A lawyer may be extremely intelligent, but they do not know everything. Even people who are adept at comprehending difficult concepts can’t slip into scrubs and handle surgery like a pro!

Paint Me

We don’t know for sure if this patient was male or female. However, one would be tempted to believe that it was a woman because it was Rose who first said this iconic line in the film, Titanic.

It’s a lot funnier to envision this coming from a patient in a hospital who’s lost their sense of reality. Fortunately, Jack never painted anyone in such a precarious position. It’s impossible to know why the patient decided to leave this line hanging in the air, but we bet the nurses had a laugh. 

Please Don’t Leave!

How much anesthetic was being administered, and how many opportunities did this person have to use his pick-up lines on those beautiful nurses? He may not have had a silver tongue, but his straightforward approach seemed to work. 

Nasal canal surgery sounds a little scary – no wonder this guy wanted endless reassurance and comfort from the nurse! She held his hand and stayed with him, but we’re sure he felt sheepish about his behavior the next day. Thankfully, nurses are used to such things and they never judge their patients. 

An Artist?

For many people, the first thing that pops into their heads when they’re coming out of anesthesia is something odd, like a song or an image. If it’s a song, you can simply sing it out. If it’s an image, however, you’ll need drawing utensils handy if you want to get it out of your head. 

Taking a sheet of paper, this young man started drawing whatever came to mind. Oddly enough, what came to mind was mustard. Had he just awoken from a mustard-related nightmare? Or was he thinking about the only condiment that should be added to a cheeseburger?

Can’t Handle It

This guy will have to be extra careful if he goes under the knife again. When heading home from the hospital, he couldn’t sit still and wait for his partner to return to the car. Instead, he ran into CVS and gave his poor partner cryptic responses when she tried to find out what he was doing. 

Though this wrestling teacher couldn’t wait to get back on the mat, he wasn’t in any condition to teach a class! Thankfully, things worked out for him. He was escorted home by his loving partner, and we’re pretty sure he got to keep the ice cream. 

Now I Remember

A sedative administered before surgery can seriously impair your memory, although this isn’t always the case. In rare cases, anesthesiologists may need a little more help to get their patients to fall asleep.

This doctor hoped to get away with a joke about his patient’s weight, but luck was not on his side this time. Of course, the patient wasn’t at all critical of the surgeon after the procedure. If your surgery was a success, who cares if the doctor made a bad joke, right?