40 Funny Things That Happen When You Have A BoyfriendBy John P.
Boyfriends can be awesome. You get to talk to someone you like regularly, and you get hot dinners sometimes; but they also show up to your cousin’s baby shower party covered in mud and engine oil, raving about how they’re using a VR headset and shoulder-mounted camera to permanently live their life in “third person,” whatever that means. They make our lives so much better, but it isn’t always smooth sailing.
If you’ve ever had a boyfriend, currently have a boyfriend, or have dealt with this “boyfriend” phenomenon in any way, we’re guessing you can totally relate. So in honor of being annoyed at boyfriends, let’s look closer and laugh together. When it comes to boyfriends, you either can’t live with them, or you can’t live without them.
After a disagreement in a relationship, it is normal to feel the need for some time to oneself from time to time. However, it is also important to receive some physical affection after some time has passed. After all, you’re with this boy for a reason. Or you’ve just gotten used to him.
There is a razor-thin line between telling someone to “get out of my face” and pleading with them to give you a hug. The inner conflict is quite profound. Sometimes you just have to make do with something that falls somewhere in the middle.
Yet another Joke
Even in a serious undertaking like a relationship, light-hearted fun is necessary. In this case, the practical joke was carried out by attaching post-it notes to the car. As a result, this lady was forced to drive around town while the notes were still attached since she did not have enough time to remove them.
Pranking your girlfriend like this is undoubtedly an exciting way to get her attention! Being seen in public driving around like that isn’t very comfortable. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that she thinks of a way to get him back.
But Could It Be True?
This is a pretty pessimistic outlook on dating, but isn’t it also kind of accurate? It is reasonable to expect that the longer you spend getting to know someone, the deeper your connection will become with them, and the more they will win your favor. Or perhaps the reverse is true!
Still, being picky and trying out a few partners is probably better than just settling for the first person to come your way—unless you really hit the cosmic jackpot. Modernity is built on FOMO, so don’t buy into all that “childhood sweetheart” hype if it just isn’t for you.
Food Is the Answer to Everything
There’s a good reason why Shakespear wrote “hangry” into the dictionary all the way back in 1066. There is no state where a person’s potential for violence is greater than when they are hungry and ready to fight. Hangry people can be a little scary.
That being said, there is an amicable, easy solution to this problem. Make food! Everything will be fine if you can just get your girl some burritos, chocolate, or maybe both. Food is an easy way to get to your partner’s heart and right the world’s wrongs.
Someone once said that gossip is a girl’s best friend, and we can verify that to be true. So when this guy showed up to an evening meal with gossip notes he’d written so as not to miss the juicy stuff, this girl’s eyes lit up like a cat.
We want to put forward his name for consideration as “boyfriend of the week.” Some people say that talking about other people is the lowest form of conversation, but those people aren’t blowing up on Insta or Twitter, so what do we care?
A Bad Proposal
Some people can’t help looking through their significant other’s things, and this is exactly why they shouldn’t do it. It might give away a surprise that has been months in the making. After all, it’s a surprise—you probably won’t be expecting the result.
In this case, this lady’s boyfriend, who may or may not propose to her soon, saw that he was powerless to stop back her own curiosity. He decided to wow her by completely subverting her expectations. This is The Last Jedi all over again!
You can’t always come right out and tell your guy that you want him to do something romantic for you. That just wouldn’t be romantic. Instead, try to imply it with your eyes. If he hasn’t learned how to literally read your mind by now—is he really the one?
The secret to maintaining a good relationship is honesty, good faith, and communication. The fastest and, therefore, most efficient form of communication is telepathy. Just be careful you don’t make it a two-way channel. Otherwise, you’ll find out about all those surprises!
The Most Important Ring In Your Relationship
This girl is taking things very seriously and is not even pretending. This guy must have misheard Beyonce’s famous adage, “If you like it, you’d better put a ring on it.” Onion rings are not like french fries, which come in a large pile at the restaurant. They are delectable delicacies.
Because there are only a few of them, you can be sure that each and every one must be savored before they’re gone. It seems like she has the right idea. If you absolutely have to get up and use the restroom, give those onion rings a thorough inspection first.
Way Too Many Choices
We can’t really blame this poor guy for his confusion. How can we possibly expect a man who has never put a pair of leggings on to have any idea of what to do when faced with such a bewildering variety of options?
Even for women, this can be a challenge. In our opinion, he had reasonable grounds to complain. At least he’s trying. And you boyfriends out there who might be wondering why some leggings have zips: we’re just not in the mood to get into it right now.
Who else here can relate to the experience of pouring one’s heart and soul into a message in an attempt to ensure that your significant other is aware of exactly how you’re feeling and thinking, only to have this happen?
Boys typically answer questions with either a one-word response or non-sequential responses. It’s especially annoying having to see this after resolving an argument face to face with a good faith heart-to-heart talk, days later, when he’s out looking for something nice for the house. Urgh!
P.E.M.D.A.S. stands for parentheses, exponents, multiply, divide, add, and subtract. It’s a good way to remember the order in which a mathematical problem should be tackled. Some people say that you can’t boil a relationship down into a formula, but this guy seems to have made some progress in doing just that.
During their argument, this girl’s boyfriend managed to pull out the PEMDAS card in a literal sense. We have a high level of admiration for him, and we like to think that his response helped defuse the tension. Sometimes nerds do make the best partners!
When you first wake up, you have things like bedhead, puffy eyes, and stinky breath—nobody, and we mean nobody—looks “beautiful.” What you see in movies where the girl wakes up all pretty with perfect hair is not realistic.
But regardless of how you choose to present yourself, your boyfriend will probably still think you are pretty. And with that comes joyful chaos. This photograph serves as the clearest and most accurate allegory of what we’re talking about.
It’s simple to fall into a routine when you’re in a committed relationship—which is why it’s essential to shake things up every once in a while. For example, some men surprise their significant others by taking them out to a romantic supper on the spur of the moment.
Some people write notes on the insides of cupboards to remind their girlfriends where the baking mixes are kept. We’re not if this is nice or not, though. If he’s implying that his girlfriend should be baking cookies for him, then we can’t get behind this one.
The Rainbow Road of Relationships
Playing video games has a way of bringing out the most competitive side in anyone who plays them. And in particular, Mario Kart. Everyone gets competitive when playing it, especially if there are stakes—like winning—involved.
Therefore, if you are going to have to apologize after a grueling race, it is honestly not a terrible idea to do it with a cake. It will make the situation a lot less awkward—plus, you can eat cake, too. Everyone wins in the end when you apologize this way.
Notice of Intent
It’s normal to experience teething problems when moving in together for the first time. But as time goes on, a couple can become accustomed to their new home and routine. However, as their new environment loses novelty, conflicts may emerge, and the space can feel less romantic.
If your partner isn’t paying attention to your sweet messages, try typing out a notice that looks more official. Maybe this will attract their attention, but it will also let them know how upset you are with them at the same time.
Hacking Up Your Marriage
This guy came up with a ridiculous plan to show that he’s doing his share of the housework. How about helping out instead of developing shortcuts that take just as long and demand the same amount of effort as actually being productive or useful?
What’s up with all these little boys running around expecting women to work for free and pick up after them without monetary compensation? What is this, domestic slavery? He may have saved five minutes of his time, but in doing so, he probably lost his wife’s respect.
This is brilliant if you ask us. Before being able to offer the kind of support that will be most helpful to his girlfriend during her time of difficulty, her boyfriend needs first to determine which stage of grief she is currently experiencing.
If she is still in the stage of feeling, then the answer most likely won’t be found in logical reasoning—at least not yet. So this is actually a pretty astute move. In point of fact—lads—take note! This insight into cooking-based trauma may serve you well in the future.
List of things to buy
To begin with, what a massive refrigerator! While this may be a suitable method of sending a shopping list for some, the person doing the shopping—let’s face it, we all know who that is—is likely to have their head explode at the sight of this message.
If you only show her one snapshot of the refrigerator, she won’t have any way of knowing what is—or isn’t—inside. You could get philosophical and think about what is meant by “everything,” as in—does it have to be refrigerated? Or you could text back with a complete list.
Thoughtful, But Wrong Timing
When you find yourself in need of a tampon, the chances are good that the situation is already pretty urgent. Unfortunately, there is not enough time to engage in a discussion regarding the fairness (or unfairness) of what is commonly called the “pink tax.”
Does the fact that this girl’s boyfriend understands our anguish bring comfort to our hearts? Yes. It warms us that he is trying to be thoughtful and kind. However, was the moment right to bring it up for discussion? Not in the slightest.
It’s all gone wrong!
If your significant other looks like they’re in a bad mood, we do not recommend trying to prank them. There is no harm in giving it a whirl, but just be ready for whatever consequences come your way. And as a fair warning, the definition of what constitutes a “prank” is fairly subjective.
If your partner is known to be jealous—the kind of jealousy that causes them to turn green in the face and red in the eyes—then sending this text is an absolute no-no. This is a telling sign that you shouldn’t send this text.
The jury is still out on whether or not this diminutive nickname is flattering or if it veers dangerously close to being offensive. Either way, it’s a pretty stomach-rolling thing to hear. Would you like fries with that night on the couch?
We do not doubt that this girl’s boyfriend meant this in a loving manner, but also, comparing a girl who is experiencing her period to a ketchup packet is just disturbing. So should we begin to make use of this? And don’t even try to tell us that it’s because ketchup is “sweet.”
The Cool Button is a commonly known—if not as commonly used—passive-aggressive texting tactic. It’s not the most offensive weapon in the toolbox, but the instant you set your eyes on that little gray button, the adjective “cool” starts playing over and over in your mind.
“Oh, you have to cancel tonight because you have a bad stomach? ‘Cool.’ You ate all the hummus in the fridge because you were tired after work? ‘Cool.’ You forgot your key, and you’ve been walking around in the dark for hours because I fell asleep early? ‘Cool.’”
Read The Room, Guys
Okay, we’re not going to argue that this isn’t true; in a way, it is. For example, if you tell your partner an inappropriate joke hoping that it will make them laugh, you may find that you end up hurting their feelings instead.
But out of all the times that this occurs, how frequently does a girl act in this manner? Let’s be honest: probably a great deal less than men do. So, guys, pay attention to what’s going on in the room—and get a sense of humor. We could all do with laughing a little more, right?
A Scarcity Problem
Maintaining a good relationship is like making quesadillas. You have to ensure that you make time to separate (the tortillas—so they don’t stick together when you take them back out of the packet), fresh ingredients, readily available heat, and of course, an excessive amount of cheesiness.
When you don’t bring enough freshness to the mix, you can get by on what you’ve made—but too much staleness will take your partner away. So finally and most importantly—and we get it, it’s hard—you have to share.
Pixel Perfect Patio
Here’s a little advice: If you have to begin your message with “promise you won’t get furious,” you might want to reevaluate your last few decisions. For example, regardless of how great it looks to you, your wife may be less than impressed with a patio made of Super Mario.
This layout creates the sense that you are going to enter into a real-life video game, which isn’t necessarily the worst thing that could happen. It’s an impressive piece of pixel art, you might say, but please, guys—talk to your better half before laying your red flags down.
It’s Getting Hot
We’ve all been in this situation: it’s the middle of summer, and you want to give your significant other a hug so badly, but then you remember that it’s 100 degrees outdoors, and touching will make you stick together the way snails stick to lettuce.
We get that you want to be all cuddly every time. The healthiest way to deal with it? Touch your boyfriend very lightly, just enough to sense the love he has for you, but not so much that it causes you to break out in an uncomfortable sweat.
I Don’t Know
There is no avoiding it at this point. If your man asks you what you want to eat, according to the girl code, you must respond with “I don’t know,” even if you know what you want to eat. This is the way.
We didn’t make the rules; that’s just how it goes. It’s to keep our relationship interesting. Yes, that sounds about right. Maybe it’s frustrating but think of it as an exercise in patience and mindfulness. You’re welcome!
Wally Hasn’t Shown Up Yet
In any kind of relationship, laughter is the glue that makes it all fit together. If you can make your partner laugh, you can be sure that they will develop romantic feelings for you. When you’re in a relationship, laughter can help turn a faux pas into a fine, pass.
This woman’s husband thought it would be amusing to dress up and sit in the background of her Zoom chats, and as a result, we think he should win an award for being the best-dressed husband in the world. We’ll just need to find him first.
Dogs Are Awesome
There is nothing more that can improve a person’s mood than having a dog. However, there are times when the mere thought of a dog is enough to make you happy. If you don’t have one yourself, you can always think about them.
Therefore, this guy has the right idea. Are you feeling “blah”? Simply make a list of different dog breeds, and it will immediately lift your spirits. Then think of them in different little doggie outfits? Depression cured. Dogs can indeed be a great little fountain of serotonin.
Just a Day More
When you have to eat the same old batch meal because that’s what’s expected of you as a responsible adult, getting through the week may be a real drag, particularly in cases where you have to eat the leftovers that aren’t necessarily your favorites.
No matter how rotten your roast is, at least you won’t be eating it by yourself if you have someone to share it with. But if you don’t have anyone to share it with, it is still helpful to know that you are not eating it alone.
Too Much Blood
Somehow, even in “current year,” men still haven’t quite gotten to grips with the fundamentals of menstruation. It’s not that complicated. The idea that a man could believe that his partner would go through one hundred tampons in three to seven days is just silly.
In addition to this, why do they believe that we are unable to articulate our requirements? We have to spell everything out for them, and it drives us up the wall. Regardless, it’s nice of him to go out and buy his girlfriend some tampons.
How do you announce your recent grocery store excursion without coming across as smug? You could put a big banner up in front of your house to draw her attention. No, because deep down, you know that you’ll have to clean it up after you’re done. What else could there be?
What if you wrote that on a piece of cake? You can be sure that’ll make an impression on her! Your hard effort has paid off in the form of a delicious slice of cake for you and your loved one. That’s something you can both enjoy.
Guys—there’s a difference between being minimal and being unviable. Even if you only have two shirts total, make sure that at least one of them is nice. We don’t think you should indulge in fast fashion, but at least add enough variety to your wardrobe, so she thinks you actually have one.
Even if you don’t look your best, make sure your clothes are presentable—that means no wrinkles, tears, or sauce stains. If you’re lucky, your new girlfriend might even bring you shopping to fill out your missing style.
Let’s get real for a second—we’re all aware of the voice this lady is referring to, right? It probably shouldn’t be the number one “most important thing” to check out before committing, but it certainly isn’t nothing.
And just so there is no confusion, we would like to set things straight for everyone by saying that nobody, and we mean nobody, is drawn in that baby voice. So put an end to it because it’s not endearing and, to be honest, it’s kind of annoying.
After finding out that their girlfriend is in the shower, the vast majority of guys are likely to be interested in a specific genre of picture. This is a fact that cannot be denied. However, you’re with your boyfriend for a reason. Why? Because he asks for this instead.
But we are all aware that there is a hipster in all of us who wants to see hair pulled back into a soapy mohawk, and we have no problem with that at all. It’s funny how he’s more interested in her hair. It’s not as though the rest of her is a mystery, after all.
Private Detective, On The Case
Girls are absolutely obsessed with finding reasons why their boyfriend, who is very gentle and loving toward them and tells them how much they love them on a regular basis, might not actually be completely into it.
Years of having to fitter out the second-rate guys will leave you with a few dings on the old dedication detector, so you guys will just have to accept that this is how we are and learn to live with it. It is pretty mind-boggling to deal with, we know, but that’s just how it is.
The Cheese Crisis
If you had to dissect a long-term relationship into individual text messages, this is a pretty accurate representation of what you would find. Everyone likes cheese—it’s an essential food in any household.
Cheese has been scientifically proven to cause the body to produce endorphins—with that in mind, keeping cheese in the house is one of the most important things you can do—unless you’re lactose intolerant or vegan. Otherwise, make sure to stock up!
There are a lot of upsides to not having a boyfriend, which might be obvious when hearing about all the pains couples have to go to on a daily basis. You don’t ever have to deal with that, and knowing this ought to put your mind at ease.
That being said, being unable to relate might be due to you and your partner having a rock-solid relationship—in which case, congratulations! You’ve found the only other material in the universe rarer than life itself. Go hug them—go hug them right now.
Pulling Out Your Hair
Unless you have extremely short hair, this is probably something that happens to you if you share your beds with a significant other who doesn’t often grow their hair out. It’s not our favorite way of being woken up in the morning, middle of the night, or just as we’re settling into bed, that’s for sure.
That’s right—it’s not once a week or once a month—it’s once a day, every day. Unfortunately, it seems impossible to avoid, and as this other girl pointed out: if your boyfriend doesn’t do it—are they really your boyfriend?
A handwritten note with a personal message is the best way to show how much you care. However, this picture, as (kind of?) sweet as it is, it does make us wonder: what kind of person would go out of their way to leave a piece of bacon uneaten like this?
All jokes aside, this note had to have been written by a microbiologist since there is no other way to explain how someone could have known so much about the organisms that may grow on ruined bacon.